A simple strategy to overcome pushback

On a recent webinar I was asked this question:

"What is the best way to communicate the problems you have found and observed, in a way that avoids triggering negative responses from the stakeholders, and giving the best chance of being given the time and space to be able to demonstrate that its fair, accurate, and achievable to actually implement the solution?"

It's a great question, and a really common challenge.

Here's my response:

The key is to be both emotionally neutral in the way you describe the problem and emotionally aware when you deliver it. 

Don’t push the problem onto someone else. Hold it and invite others to see it.

Curiosity grabs attention. Force creates barriers.

For example:

Not good: The software you provided isn’t working. You need to fix it so we can do our work faster.  

Better: I’m having trouble with using the software and would like some help. If I can work out how to use it better, I can speed up what I get done. 

Avoid using language that points blame at others before the problem has been discussed and agreed. That just triggers a defensive response to start with and the problem stays unresolved. 

It’s better to describe the problem in terms of “I” or “We”. Not “You”. 

Where people can separate themselves from the problem, and don’t feel like they are being criticised to start with, their fear response will lower, and they will feel safer to engage in the discussion and willing to hear your ideas for a solution.

Finally, before you offer a solution, first make sure everyone agrees there’s a problem worth solving.

Your perspective might not be the only or best one.

Curiosity grabs attention. Force creates barriers.